I'm in meltdown - literally and figuratively

Three posts in as many days! I can't promise this level of productivity in the future. One day I might actually get a job.

Anyway. I've had my first figurative meltdown. I say first, because I'm sure there will be more. It happened because we didn't go to see our apartment as planned. I managed to turn this seemingly small occurence into a crisis of enormous proportions. With the benefit of hindsight, this is because I feel displaced. At the end of May I left the home I had lived in for 20 years, and since then I have lived with friends and family. Now I'm in the hostel owned by my husband. We haven't moved into the apartment yet because the air conditioning isn't properly installed, and if you've read my previous posts you'll understand why this might present a problem. 

Although I used the word homeless last night in a fit of emotion, it's the wrong word, because I know I have a home. It's just that I'm not in it yet. I feel as if I'm in limbo, hence the word 'displaced'. It's a revelation to discover how important this is to me after taking it for granted since the age of 22. I want to hang up the stained glass Celtic cross given to me by my sister. I want to put my books on the bookshelves. I want to put my clothes in the wardrobes. I want to buy things for my new home. There's nothing wrong with the hostel, as hostels go it's a great hostel. It just isn't my home. 

My new Egyptian family, although incredibly supportive and sympathetic, simply can't understand what this is like; they have never lived anywhere other than Cairo. So while I was sitting on the bathroom floor last night being pathetic, I Facebook-messenger-ed someone who has become an extraordinary friend, and who also moved abroad for love. I said - did you have moments when you thought what the **** have I done? She said yes. She asked if I needed a Kleenex. I said yes, but I don't even know how to ask for Kleenex! (Turns out it's still Kleenex - ah the power of branding). She told me about a freak out she'd had about rice. It made me laugh. It made me realise how incredibly lucky I am because I have so many wonderful friends, and thanks to social media they are only a click away. Again I am reminded that I couldn't do this without social media, so thank you Mark Zuckerberg.

She also said tomorrow is another day, and sure enough it is - visited the apartment today and all is well with the world. Until the next meltdown of course.