I am just coming out the other side of several spectacular meltdowns. With hindsight, there were many contributing factors, but the precursor to all of them was being on my own in the apartment for too long. The most recent time was because of the Eid Al-Adha feast and self imposed imprisonment in the apartment (if you want to know why look this feast up on the internet...but only if you have a strong stomach). As I may have mentioned to some of you, I have a counsellor who specialises in expats and she's great. For any expats reading this the link is Expat Nest if you want to have a look. She also does a great blog. Anyway, one of the things she suggested is to explore how I actually feel when I start going into meltdown, because by doing this I can start working out why it happens and how to nip it in the bud. Well this morning I got a chance to try this out. I slipped in the shower and hurt my back on Thursday, so I couldn't go to work that day and couldn't move yesterday. And I knew I wasn't going to see A until tonight. I could feel a meltdown approaching and I realised that the longer I'm on my own, the more likely a meltdown is to happen. So I booked a car with Careem (like Middle-Eastern Uber) and went to the Community Services Association, which is in Maadi, where lots of expats live, and provides services for expats in Cairo. I haven't been before. They have a nice cafe, some shops, a library and everyone speaks English - and they have WiFi!!! I did the same on Wednesday - went to Cairo Festival City Mall for a dose of Western-ness. It's amazing what a difference it makes, although it would be hard to pinpoint why. My counsellor says it's not about the actual place, it's about the feelings it gives you when you're there. In a sea of constant unfamiliarity it makes such a difference to hear your own language, even if it's not being spoken to you.
Coincidentally, I had to read an article on culture shock while I was on my teacher training course, so I decided to do a bit more research on it. It turns out I'm in stage 2 (The Distress Stage). The symptoms of stage 2 are:
- Feelings of sadness and loneliness
- Heightened irritability
- Feelings of anger, depression, vulnerability
- Insomnia or sleeping too much
- Constant complaints about the climate
- Continual offering of excuses for staying indoors
- Utopian ideas concerning one’s previous culture
- Continuous concern about the purity of water and food
- Fear of touching local people
- Trying to hard to adapt by becoming obsessed with the new culture
- Refusal to learn the language
- Overwhelming sense of homesickness
- Preoccupation about being robbed or cheated
- Pressing desire to talk with people who “really make sense.”
- Preoccupation with returning home
- Questioning your decision to move to this place
Believe it or not it actually makes me feel better to discover that I'm not, in fact, going nuts and this is all perfectly normal and to be expected. Two friends who have both lived abroad have pointed out that it is actually a positive to have reached stage 2 - at least that means I'm closer to stage 3! Which is re-integration if you're interested. The downside is that it can take several months to move through stage 2. This being the case, I have decided to be completely unapologetic about spending far too much money on drivers for the sole purpose of going to buy western style coffee. Every day that I'm off work and neither M nor A will be at home, I'm going to do something to get out of the apartment. The social network Internations for expats worldwide has been a total life saver as I have met so many people who I already consider to be friends, especially in the Writing and Reading groups. I can also see much potential in the CSA (as above) as they also have a gym and do exercise classes where I can meet more new people. It's really hard to force myself out to do things that are so much harder than they would be in the UK, and where I don't know any people, but when I do I certainly reap the benefits.
Meanwhile, I have started doing a one-to-one lesson at the school. It's hardly worth it for the money once I deduct the cost of getting there and back, but it's really good experience of doing one-to-one lessons. The student is really lovely and I'm enjoying finding interesting things for him to do, that can't be done in a bigger class. I've been on a tour of old Cairo (organised by a friend via an Internations group), taking in 3 religions in one day. I enjoyed that very much and met more new people, some from Scotland! Experienced the lunar eclipse/blood moon from my balcony (at 4am) and it was cloudy. Yes! Cloudy! I haven't seen a wisp of cloud for 8 weeks and then suddenly it's cloudy when there's a lunar eclipse! Still, I did get some photos and the sky did go a very odd red colour.
Looking back over the last 8 weeks, I also feel I have achieved a lot. Considering I was too scared to even cross the road on my own and found buying toothpaste a challenge, it's amazing what I can do on my own now, despite the language issues (see no. 11 above!) It's amazing how far pointing and waving can get you. Regarding no. 11, I am going to sign up for Survival Arabic courses that the CSA run, to force myself out of the waving and pointing rut.
I'm also going on holiday to Hurghada in just over a week to see my family. Needless to say I'm really looking forward to that, although I'm obviously not going for the sun!I think I've covered most of my news. I'll finish with a photo of the lunar eclipse from my balcony (including extremely rare clouds).
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